The Conscious and Unconscious Sides of Speaking

I talk with my speaker coaching clients a lot about the conscious and unconscious parts of speaking. 

It’s something I keep coming back to because when these two align, your speaking truly comes alive. 

But when they’re out of sync? That’s when the cracks start to show.

So, what do I mean by “conscious” and “unconscious” parts of speaking?

The conscious stuff is what we can see, hear, and immediately notice. 

Think about your slides, your words, the way you dress, how you move on stage. 

These are the obvious, tangible things that we, as speakers, spend a lot of time perfecting.

And they are all important. Dressing appropriately sets the tone, slides help convey your message, and the way you move supports your stories, your stats, and all the lessons you’re there to deliver.

Then you have the unconscious stuff. 

This is the part people feel. It’s that intangible quality—the energy, if you like—that you can’t quite put your finger on, but you know when it’s off. I

Something just doesn’t feel right.

Often, this is where inauthenticity creeps in. 

Here’s the thing: audiences are sharp. They can’t always articulate it, but they know when there’s a mismatch between what they’re seeing (the conscious) and what they’re feeling (the unconscious). 

That mismatch creates a gap.

As speakers, our goal is to share something meaningful like knowledge, our expertise, or a story perhaps, with the aim of developing trust.

When the conscious and unconscious don’t align, trust is lost.

The unconscious side of speaking starts long before you step onto the stage. It’s about doing the work to know who you are, what you stand for, and what your objective is. It’s also about understanding your audience—what you want them to think, do, or feel.

If you’re unsure of yourself—if you lack presence, if you’re disconnected emotionally, or if you’re just not fully comfortable in your own skin—it will show. 

And your audience? They’ll feel it, even if they can’t quite explain why.

So, what’s the takeaway here? 

Simple: Know yourself. Get clear on your purpose, connect with your emotions, and be present in the moment.

All things that are created before you even walk on stage.

When the conscious and unconscious parts of your speaking come together, it becomes a really cool experience.

One that builds trust and helps you to make an impact.